Comments on: Can Arranged Marriages Have Romance?

By: Cindy

Cindy — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:58:08 +0000

Thank you everyone for coming by! Beth S. wins the copy of THE SARI SHOP WIDOW. Beth, please look for an email from me in your in-box.

Thank you, Shobhan, for a wonderful blogging day!

By: Shobhan Bantwal

Shobhan Bantwal — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 01:16:01 +0000

Jeannie Lin,

Ooh, a bit of trickery there. I think it’ll make a great fiction story, especially if your great grandfather eventually fell in love with the plainer woman he married. It would be all about the inner person and the shallowness of outward beauty, etc… I’d love to read it.

By: Cindy

Cindy — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 01:02:17 +0000

Jeannie Lin, I love that story!

By: Shobhan Bantwal

Shobhan Bantwal — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:19:53 +0000

First of all, thank you, Cindy, for hosting me on your lovely blog. And those of you who already bought my book, you have my deep appreciation.

Thanks to each and every one of you for reading my blog and posting your comments. I know arranged marriage is a quaint idea for most westerners but where I grew up, it’s the norm, so we just sort go with the flow.

To answer LaShaunda’s question, there is usually an engagement period and in rare instances the couple decides they’re incompatible and break the engagement. However, in my case, we met two days before we were engaged and ten days later we were married because my husband lived in the US and was visiting India for 3 weeks only. But it’s been a good, solid marriage for 36 years.

And like Maureen says, almost every couple meets in some sort of contrived or arranged manner.

Good luck in the drawing, you guys.

Shobhan Bantwal
Author of THE SARI SHOP WIDOW
http://www.shobhanbantwal.com

By: Jeannie Lin

Jeannie Lin — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:13:33 +0000

True story — one that I may fictionalize one day. My great grandfather was an educated man who had passed the mandarin exams. He was matched with a girl from a rich family but he insisted on seeing her first before agreeing. The matchmaker tricked him by telling to go to the market the next morning where he saw his prospective wife being chaperoned by her much more attractive (and married) cousin. Being a man, he assumed the pretty one was the one meant for him.

The story goes that he didn’t realize until his wedding day. Those old matchmakers really knew their game.

By: Maureen McGowan

Maureen McGowan — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:09:24 +0000

I can completely believe that arranged marriages work. I mean, most people meet through some kind of “arranged” situation in that they either work at the same place, or go to the same school, or have a mutual interest, or were introduced by friends.
The only situations where I’d think it wouldn’t work, are if the parents had motivations other than finding their children good mates — like financial or status motivations. If the parents have the right intentions, then I do believe most would do a good job.
I also like the idea of love building over time (arcing up), rather than fizzling and arching down, as happens with many relationships that start on a pure physical attraction basis.

By: LaShaunda

LaShaunda — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:52:03 +0000

I’m curious to know if there is a engagement period where the couple get to know each other or is a date set and you get to know each other after the wedding?

Love the cover of this book.

By: Tina Ferraro

Tina Ferraro — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:03:43 +0000

I, too, am a hopeless romantic, and believe in soulmates and true love in whatever way they find each other! I’d love to read this book, and thanks to Cindy for hosting this interesting interview and contest!