Casting Stephanie Plum

Seeing as I got on a movie-talk roll last week… Let’s continue it, shall we?

As most Stephanie Plum (of the Janet Evanovich novels) fans have undoubtedly heard by now, Katherine Heigl (Izzy on Grey’s Anatomy) has been signed to play the much beloved Plum character in the film version of ONE FOR THE MONEY. If you do a bit of searching on the ‘Net, the choice of Heigl has created a bit of an uproar. It doesn’t much matter to me, because I haven’t kept up with the book series. I read the first book and loved it, but I didn’t discover the books until Ms. Evanovich was already on book 5 or 6 or 7 in the series, and I already knew from a discussion on a writers’ listserve that…

(In the event you don’t already know this spoiler and don’t want to know, don’t highlight the white bit below. If you do highlight it, the spoiler will appear in blue print or something. And, no, I have no idea if this works on the Facebook or Goodreads feeds for this blog).

…I already know from a discussion on a writers’ listserve that… (highlight next portion if you already know the spoiler).

The Joe Vs. Ranger issue still had not been resolved by book 5, 6, or 7, whichever was currently on shelves at the time.

So, I read book 1 (ONE FOR THE MONEY), loved it, and promptly went out and bought books 2 and 3. I can’t recall if I ever finished book 2, but I know I didn’t finish book 3. The idea of having to read all those books and still the relationship question was hanging in the air was just too daunting for me. Now, I make certain, when I hear about a great series like this, to either (a) stick my fingers in my ears and holler, Na-na-a-boo-boo! whenever people start discussing romantic plot issues or (b) start reading the series when it first appears and keep up with the books as the author puts them out.

I must admit, however, back when I read Book 1, Katherine Heigl did not jump out at me as an obvious Stephanie Plum choice. One could argue that when I read Book 1 Katherine Heigl had not yet been cast on Grey’s, in fact I had never heard of her, so how could I possibly imagine her as Stephanie?

Whatever. Who DID I imagine as Stephanie? Sandra Bullock and/or Marisa Tomei. However, I suppose both actresses are “too old” by Hollywood standards to play Stephanie now.

Whatever, Katherine has been signed.

Are you a Stephanie Plum fan? How do you feel about KH as the lead character? Will you go see the movie? Will it ruin it for you? Do you just not care?

In my understanding, Ranger and Joe Morelli have not been cast yet. At least my puny Internet search didn’t turn them up. So let’s take this one step further. Now that you know KH has been cast as Stephanie, who would you like to see playing Ranger and Joe along with her?

If you could choose an actress to play Stephanie and then choose your own Ranger and Joe, who would you choose?

I can’t remember enough about Ranger and Joe to decide. So please play the casting game for me, my lovelies. Play!

Amazon to Open Canadian Warehouse

As a Canadian published with an American micro-press, I, for one (two or three if you count my other personalities), am glad Amazon has finally been given the go-ahead to open a fulfillment warehouse in Canada. You can read the story here.

Until now, the trade paperback editions of my Amber Quill Press books were only available from American Amazon. Which meant Canadians either had to pay more for a copy of one of my books (depending on the exchange rates, which, until recently, sucked), or had to pay more for shipping, or maybe suffer a cost for the book to cross the border. Whatever. They had to pay more. Now, I honestly don’t know if Amazon opening a Canadian fulfillment warehouse means that searching for Cindy Procter-King on www.amazon.ca will eventually cough up search results for new copies of my books, but I’m hopeful. A lot more hopeful than I was two days ago, at any rate. Whether or not it actually happens is up to Amazon and my publisher, not me.

Right now you can buy used copies of the first edition of HEAD OVER HEELS from Canadian Amazon for exorbitant amounts, but not new copies. Not that I don’t think I’m important (the odd day, I do), but $40 or $60 for a used copy of one of my books? It makes no sense.

Please, anyone who thinks they might be doing me a favor by buying one of these used copies off Canadian Amazon, you won’t. Authors don’t make a dime, or even a penny, off the sale of used books. That the prices are ludicrously high…to me, it’s laughable. No wonder those used copies never sell. And I hope they never do. What a rip-off—for me and the reader.

I love ordering books on-line. I order from Canadian Amazon or Chapters—whichever site has the best deal for the books I want at the time. I always wait until I have an order over $39 so I can get free shipping. Yes, I’m cheap that way. And the thought that Canadian readers might eventually be able to take advantage of the same opportunity with my books tickles me.

Well, I don’t know that my books will ever be available on Chapters. That’s another issue. For now, I’m happy with the possibility of directing readers to other-than-a-buy-used-for-a-hefty-price-cindypk page on Amazon.ca.

As soon as I learn more, you can bet you’ll find the news here.

In the meantime, I’m keeping my “buy from author” option open on my website.

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Got A Mad-On For Nicholas Sparks?

For every romance writer who currently has a mad-on for Nicholas Sparks because of his perceived arrogance, here’s a link to funny instructions on How to Write a Nicholas Sparks Movie on cracked.com. First, read this quote from The News-Herald Blogs, and then read the funny instructions. Well, I think they’re funny.

Quote from News-Herald Blogs:

“I don’t write romance novels.” His preferred terminology: “Love stories — it’s a very different genre … (Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after.”

Mr. Sparks says he doesn’t write romance novels. I’ve never read one of his novels, but I have watched a couple of movie versions, and he’s right. He doesn’t write romance novels. He does write “love stories.” There’s no guarantee that a love story will end happily. Love Story didn’t. Bridges of Madison County didn’t. And neither do Nicholas Sparks’s novels.

Romance novels do end happily.

Wouldn’t it be nice if some “love stories” did? Otherwise, the love stories just get predicable. Don’t they?

Whether Mr. Sparks writes formulaic fiction is something I can’t address with any degree of authority…because I haven’t read his books. I have to admit, though, that having at least one character die at the end of the movie version of every story a writer pens does sound somewhat formulaic to moi.

The article on cracked.com points out several other “essentially the same story”isms. If you need a laugh, check it out.

So, why do you think Nicholas Sparks books get made into movies while the vast, vast, vast majority of romance novels don’t? Is it because people die in his books, so they aren’t “formulaic”? Is it because leaving the audience crying throughout a movie version of one of your books is cathartic for them? Is it because he’s a man writing books mainly intended for a female audience, instead of being a woman writing books mainly intended for a female audience?

I rather think it’s the latter. But then I’m jaded.

Why I Don’t Watch Scary Movies

  1. They scare the crap out of me.
  2. I’m gullible (hence #1).

I should have known better…

Oh, caution. This post is full of spoilers. If you don’t want to read spoilers for the movie, The Fourth Kind, don’t read this post. If you do read this post, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Last week my husband had a birthday. I took him out to dinner to celebrate (and also so  I wouldn’t have to cook). We had a marvelous meal and a marvelous time. When we came home, he wanted to rent a movie. He settled on THE FOURTH KIND. “Okay,” I said. I thought it was a werewolf movie. Humans could be the first kind, vampires the second, something I hadn’t thought of yet could be the third, and werewolves could be the fourth kind. Not so. “The Fourth Kind” refers to alien abductions (as in abducting humans, not getting abducted themselves). We rented it through something called Video on Demand on our PVR, which isn’t a very good service, IMO. Yes, you can pause the movie, but other features are glitchy. I’ll stick to my regular renting channels from now on, thanks.

Back to my point (if I had one). You see, I never watch scary movies because of #1 and #2. I tend to operate under the assumption that people are telling me the truth. Thus, when my husband, at 19, told me he “played the organ,” I thought he meant the muscial instrument. He thought he was being cleverly rude.

Don’t ask me why I thought I could handle a werewolf movie (I can’t). Let’s just say that I love my husband a great deal and wanted to make him happy by watching the movie with him. Of course, he kept falling asleep, leaving me glued to the TV kind of alone.

The Fourth Kind opens with the main actress telling you the story is based on real events, that she’s playing this real person, and that “archival footage” of psychology interview tapes and the like are interspersed throughout the movie along with the dramatic interpretations. Okay, I think, sounds kind of nifty.

The DH should have known better. He’s seen The Blair Witch Project. I haven’t. And I never will.

Basically, the archival footage in The Fourth Kind scared the stuffing out of me. I couldn’t sleep that night, or the next night. Finally, on the third day, I woke up with this niggling suspicion about one of the “archival footage” pieces in the movie. It shows a man killing his wife and committing suicide, and it plays while the dramatic version of the event also plays on a split screen. While watching the movie, yes, it did occur to me that it was odd that the police released this footage to the movie producers, or that extended family would ever allow such a thing. But the movie continued and I bought it all for reasons I won’t go into here. Let’s just say I’ve heard alien abduction stories before.

Upon waking, I ran to “the Google” and searched for whether the “archival footage” in the movie is real. And it’s not.

So there, I’ve ruined the movie for you. However, it might be fun to watch it anyway and laugh and giggle at all the places in the movie, where, in retrospect, the actors are telling the viewer not to believe what they are seeing (but Cindy got mightily scared anyway). Clues are strewn all over the place. However, no way am I watching the movie again to list those clues! Just clicking the link for the movie website and having the little video play scares me. Which is why I’m writing this post in the bright light of day. Even though I now know events in the movie are NOT based on real events that occurred in Nome, Alaska in 2000, my imagination still gets the better of me. And off into dreamland I do not go.

Do you watch scary movies? Have you seen The Fourth Kind? Did you buy into the “archival footage”? Or am I, as they say, a moron?

Brava Contest – Writing with the Stars

As opposed to dancing.

The Kensington Brava line is holding a new writing contest in conjunction with RT BookReviews. Not sure when the contest opens. Details are in the June issue of RT. Alas, I don’t have an RT subscription. For now, you can find a bit of information on the Brava authors blog. Editor Alicia Condon, formerly of Dorchester Publishing (she replaced Kate Duffy at Kensington – R.I.P., Kate), introduces the contest. The comment thread poses some interesting questions about contest eligibility that, as of this typing, haven’t been answered. Keep checking the thread to see if they are. Or…rush out and buy the June RT as soon as you can.

Brava writing contests have launched several careers, including HelenKay Dimon’s. I entered Brava contests when I was eligible, but never fared well in them. As in I never made it to the finals. I could never get past the first round of judges. That didn’t stop Kate Duffy from calling me to discuss ideas, so I must have been doing something right for Brava. Just not right for the preliminary contest rounds.

You know…I still have a requested partial on Kate’s desk. Or whatever became of Kate’s desk. I wonder what will become of it? It was an electronic submission, so might have gone the way of the do-do bird with Kate’s passing. I really should look into that. I’ll put it on my For After I Finish Revising SPIAPT List.