Ever wonder about those people who tweet while they’re watching Toddlers & Tiaras or cutting the grass? Well, I have. I’ve wondered how they can enjoy what they’re watching or doing while under the stress of tweeting every two seconds. So yesterday I decided to put Power Tweeting to the test (here’s a link to my Twitter feed, if you’re interested. I’m not over there all that much. Honest.)
I probably lost a few followers during the cake-making process, but it was actually fun. I tweeted about baking my first “from scratch” cake in over twenty years. You see, today’s my father’s 80th birthday (Happy Birthday, Dad!), and I wanted to do something special for him. When my kids were little, I iced the most amazing cakes for their birthdays. One sweltering summer night, when we had no air-conditioning, I spent 4 hours decorating a Bert-and-Ernie-shaped cake. All those shirt stripes! All those colors! My son loved it, but little did he know…I used cake mix. I have always used cake mix, no matter how fancy the decorating (I’m an awesome decorator). I’m too lazy to bake cake from scratch. Mainly because I don’t usually like cake, so it’s not worth the effort. I’m more a chocolate mousse girl. However, Youngest Son’s girlfriend (G-2 for the purposes of this blog) is an excellent baker, and she makes the most Divine Chocolate Raspberry Torte ever! It is DELISH. I wanted to make my own Divine Chocolate Raspberry Torte for my dad.
Note, G-2 is of those bakers who doesn’t have the recipe written down. She had to type up the instructions special for me. My mother is like this. These “natural” bakers and gourmet cooks will trip you up if you’re not careful.
The resulting Twitter feed:
- Googling “How to Separate an Egg.” I had an egg separator but it broke after 20 years of non-use (it fell off its perch!)
- What, this is a Canadian recipe! “4 oz bakers’ chocolate.” How big is a freaking ounce? How many SQUARES of chocolate?
- Eat 1/2 cup of brown sugar. Guaranteed you will not want to taste brown sugar again for at least six months.
- “Find two pots roughly same size so one fits snugly atop the other.” Uh, shouldn’t that be Use a double boiler? (note my superior tone here).
- tip – cut up the chocolate. It will melt faster.
- Tip – “stir until mixture makes a smooth custard” = let it thicken. (I had to think about that one!)
- Frantically phone son’s gf to find out what to do with the custard! Not mentioned in recipe! Hint – it goes into the batter.
- Lick the beaters clean of cake batter, because you’re going to need them to beat egg whites.
- Eat more brown sugar. Only one Tbsp. this time.
- Schedule trip to corner store to replace large Hershey’s bar needed for chocolate shavings, because you ate it two nights ago.
- The cake is in the oven! I can not be foiled! Wash dishes to prepare for Round 2.
- Play Scrabble on Facebook while cake layers bake.
- Increase baking time from 25 min to 30 min because these toothpicks are damn sticky!!
- Adjust baking time to 32 minutes, curse stupid oven, and kill spider on stove top.
- 32 minutes is perfect! Time for Round 2. The filling.
- Tip. Do not shove measuring cup just used to measure cocoa powder into icing sugar bag.
- Don’t believe husband on your way out the door for replacement chocolate bar when he says you don’t have cake batter on your face.
- Son’s gf is right. At least one of the two cake layers will fall apart when cutting it in half. Put on bottom of cake plate.
- Next time don’t be so quick to show her up by cutting layer in half too quickly. (See how I resisted the urge to edit out the redundant quickly?)
- Don’t buy fresh raspberries for chocolate whip cream/raspberry filling b/c you’ll only eat them the day before.
- Congratulate self on buying rotating cake plate in 1985.
- Resist urge to eat chocolate whip cream filling while assembling four layers of cake BECAUSE YOU WILL RUN OUT.
- Shove frozen raspberries into gaps on sides of cake. Artfully, so as to appear on purpose.
- Another pack of fresh raspberries in fridge! I didn’t eat them all. Arrange around cake base. Chocolate shavings on top!
- “Chocolate shavings” really means “curlicues.” Finally, a use for the side of grater with three horizontal holes.
- Shove broken pieces of leftover chocolate bar between cake layers (thought of this all on my own! Helps balance the layers).
- Put in fridge overnight for tomorrow’s party. I have conquered G-2’s Divine Chocolate Raspberry Torte!
The Proof:
Go on, admit it. You’re impressed.