Category: Stuff About Me

Who Loves Ya, 13?

I had a different post planned for today, but then I glanced at the calendar and realized—it’s Friday the 13th! And, guess what? We get another Friday the 13th in March, mwahaha.

Thirteen is my favorite number. It has to be. My birthday is January 13th, which, if you continue counting after December (and who wouldn’t?) is the 13th day of the 13th month. As I was lamenting to someone the other day, sadly, though, I was not born at 1 p.m., which would have made me a 13th hour, 13th day, 13th month baby. Nope, I was born in the evening. Irritation sets in!

For years, I thought I was born on a Friday the 13th, because my father was working out of town, only coming home twice a week, every Wednesday and Friday. My mother assured me that I was born Friday the 13th. The year I was 13, I found out, however, that I was born on a Wednesday. Yes, I’m a child of woe, which pretty much describes my adolescence and can account for all the characters who came to foul ends in my teenage short stories.

I have a brother and a sister born on the so-called “lucky” dates of 7 and 11, so you can imagine the ribbing I received over the years that I was born on the supposedly unlucky date of us three. Now, as an adult, I’m closest to the sibling who was born on a plain ol’ nothing fancy date. That’ll teach the other two.

How do feel about Friday the 13th? Are you superstititious? Do you avoid all things 13? Will you not read my books now that you’ve found out I love 13?

Celebrity Birthdays

I had a birthday Tuesday. Yes, I’m nearly officially old. Next year I really will be officially old, but for now I’m just practicing. Well, “old” to me is actually 80, so I have a few decades left until I’m geriatric old—lots of time to practice!

I like to read an annual horoscope for my birthday, but we don’t get a newspaper Tuesday, so I was forced to google. I didn’t find an annual horoscope, because I got sidetracked discovering that I share the same birthday as Patrick Dempsey, who is currently enjoying a fresh burst of fame as Dr. McDreamy on Grey’s Anatomy, one of my Thursday night must-watch TV shows (the other is ER—yes, I love doctor shows, but ER has requested a DNR order this season, sob). Ooh, how exciting—P.D.’s cute, talented, and he has hair!

So then, of course, I had to google more extensively, and thanks to starpulse.com, I found out I also share birthdays with:

  • William Hung (that guy who sang She Bang during American Idol auditions years ago, back when I didn’t watch A.I. but his singing was plastered all over TV-land)
  • Orlando Bloom
  • Nicole Eggert (was in Baywatch, which I never watched, so I don’t really know who she is, but she sounds like a good egg, heh, heh)
  • Penelope Ann Miller (recognize the name, but that’s it)
  • Trace Adkins (yes, I knew there was a reason he nearly won Celebrity Apprentice last year!)
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus (which explains why her Seinfeld-era Elaine dance is strangely similar to my chicken imitations)
  • Trevor Rabin (a guitarist with a band named Yes I can’t recall ever listening to, but at least he’s musical)
  • Richard Moll (it says he was born in 1943 and is a voice actor, so I don’t think this is the same Richard Moll who was on Night Court, a show I adored)
  • Rip Taylor (Oh, my God, why does that fit so well? And why couldn’t I have gotten Red Skelton? I loved Red Skelton as a kid)
  • Charles Nelson Reilly (of game show fame, like the old Hollywood Squares, and another, um, unique personality)
  • Robert Stack (now deceased, but they listed him anyway).

Well, I don’t know, these folks share some mighty fine company, don’t you think?

What celebrities are born on your birthday? It’s far too easy to find out, I discovered. Just plug “celebrity birthdays DATE” and you’ll get a whole spate of sites.

I’ve Gone Bi

Focal, that is. Heh, heh.

After test-wearing three different pairs, I finally ordered my first package of bifocal contact lenses. Well, the box says they’re “multi” focal, but, in my case, they’re just bi. Like my glasses.

I’ve been putting off this decision, but I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. I had reached the point where I was wearing reading glasses over my contact lenses. And then the reading in my right eye took a nosedive while the reading in my left eye wasn’t as bad. So then I had to buy TWO pairs of reading glasses and have my optician swap the right lens out of the weaker pair.

I was quite happy for awhile. However, attending RWA National in San Francisco this summer, I discovered it’s one thing to walk around with your reading glasses on top of your head in the privacy of your own home. But when one is at a conference and one wishes to look less librarian-esque, shall we say, one tends to keep her reading glasses in her purse.

Oh, who are we kidding? “One” is me.

The problem occurred during editor/agent appointments and workshops when I realized I was constantly reaching for the damn glasses. Once back home, I noticed it was getting more and more difficult to even read the grocery list without my reading glasses.

So I had two choices. (1) Finally get laser surgery, or (2) Go bi. I decided to try the bi. Phew! It worked. I still have some kinks to work out. My right eye is primarily doing the distance seeing, and my left eye is primarily doing the reading seeing. My optician was surprised that I wanted less distance in my left eye, but I didn’t see the point in going bi if I still had to wear reading glasses over contacts that cost twice as much as my old ones.

I hear it takes about six months to grow accustomed to laser eye surgery when one eye is done for distance and the other for reading. In my case, with the contact lenses, it’s more a matter of if I remember I’m wearing bifocal contacts, then my eyes screw up. If I just go with the flow, they know what to do.

Yes, someday I will finally give in and have laser eye surgery. However, for now, I still suffer Clockwork Orange-like nightmares when I so much as think about it. Shudder. Am I a wimp?

What’s Your Blogging Personality?

First things first, if you’re looking for my Box ‘O Books Holiday Give-Away, scroll down.

Second things second… Ever taken a Myers-Briggs or other personality quiz? How accurate do you find them? According to every version of Myers-Briggs I’ve taken, I’m an INFJ, which is pretty darn accurate. But now, look, you can ID your blog personality, too!  I found the Typealyzer courtesy of Marilyn Brant’s blog, who found it courtesy of Jenny Crusie’s blog.

According to the Typealyzer, the author of Muse Interrupted(which some might say is me, while others ascertain that it’s Elle Muse) is a “Doer.” Here’s the blippy, complete with a cute illustration:

ESTP – The Doers

The active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical outdoor activities.

The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time.

Hmmm, okay, this is sort of me, if you count sitting at a desk and playing with your pen as “action-filled work,” although I can’t say I’ve engaged in physical outdoor activities on purpose since I was a child. As a child, yes, I was outside all the time, and I considered myself a tomboy until I began to participate in team sports and discovered that I possess no physical coordination whatsoever. Once, after getting hit in the face with a softball, I struck out something like 30 times in a row at softball practice. The coach thought he could outlast my fear! Silly man. Let me state here, though, that I didn’t strike out out of fear, I struck out out of crappy hand-eye coordination. The crappy hand-eye coordination was the same reason I didn’t catch the ground ball that smacked my glasses.

As for that picture of the little girl…she looks like me as a kid, except I didn’t have boobs when I was 7! I barely had boobs when I was 17. Is it just me, or does she possess a rather curvy upper body compared to her face and height?

So, what’s your blogging personality? Plug your blog URL into the Typealyzer website and find out. Then report back to me. Because I just can’t sit still until I know!

By the way, for those interested, Jennifer Crusie is a Doer and Marilyn Brant is an Artist.

Halloween Costumes, Part II

There’s such a thing as getting too creative… (Funny, I’ve been told this by editors, too).

First up, The Halloween Costume No One Can Guess:

Pond Scum!

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Steal husband’s pair of baby blue one-piece long johns in comfy waffle-print cotton. Do this completely ignorant of the fact that it will cost $100 to replace them.
  2. Tie-dye long johns in shades of moss green and puke yellow.
  3. Cut old pillowcase into strips and also dye in shades of scum green and scuzz yellow. Sew these “weeds” all over your long johns so that they flutter when you walk.
  4. Smear face with dirt and draw vines and weeds on your temples with liquid eyeliner.
  5. Wear spider or other insect earrings. Glue little plastic bugs all over your costume.
  6. Attach more plastic weeds to head using barrette.
  7. Assure guests that YOU ARE NOT MOTHER EARTH!! YOU ARE POND SCUM!! POND SCUM! Can no one get it?
  8. Remind self to invite smarter guests to next party.

Second up, even if your child begs and begs and begs, unless he’s a strapping 15-year-old with Incredible Hulk-like muscles, do not ever ever create the following costume: 

 

Robot Boy!

INSTRUCTIONS (For Those Who Do Not Follow Warnings):

  1. Allow child to destroy old computer. Allow child to pick out which pieces of computer he wants glued onto his costume. Do not ever think of advising child to choose pieces other than those he desires with his oh-so-cute widdle heart.
  2. Promise child that should a device call a Blog ever be invented you shall not admit if he is Eldest or Youngest on said blog.
  3. Buy gray vinyl and and cut hole for his cuteness head, creating a poncho that can fit over even the heaviest snow suit. HINT: Vinyl for kids’ Halloween costumes is my Best Kept Secret (regarding Halloween). I’ve created homemade Batman and Ninja Turtle costumes using vinyl on which you can then draw muscles, etc. Vinyl makes a great shell for a turtle, on which you can draw the turtle shell lines, and then add a fabric front in yellow, all stuffed with newspapers for padding. You want pictures and detailed instructions? Come back next year.
  4. Glue computer parts onto poncho with Shoe Goo. (Shoe Goo can be found in your workshop, if you have a forester for a husband. If you can not find Shoe Goo in your workshop, divorce current husband and marry a forester OR go to nearest workwear store or maybe hardware store and insist on Shoe Goo and no other!) HINT: If you’re too lazy to follow my instructions, find some other glue, but it must be thick and gooey and capable of holding heavy computer parts on vinyl.
  5. Cover child’s face with silver makeup.
  6. Create hat out of cardboard and tin foil. Attach over toque with torn-up pillowcase strips for ties. (Sure, you can use fabric other than old pillowcases, but why bother when fifty million old pillowcases are falling out of your linen closet?) HINT: Pillowcases make excellent Trick or Treating bags.
  7. Very quickly clean every last trace of silver makeup off child’s face once you REALIZE HE’S ALLERGIC TO IT!!
  8. Take child Trick or Treating for maybe 10 houses, because the costume is too freaking heavy and he can barely move his widdle tiny legs.

What Halloween costumes would you not recommend?

Happy Halloween tomorrow everyone! (I’m taking the day off to carve pumpkins). Stay safe and guard your children. Eat their candy to test for danger. Tell them it’s in their best interests. Don’t blame me if they don’t believe you.