Desperate in December

December is always a crazy month for me. I never seem to expect the busy-ness that the holidays bring around. I’m ahead of the game this year, thanks to Cyber Monday, but the next few weeks will be hectic regardless. I usually shut down the blog in December, but this year I have a mid-December release, so it wouldn’t make sense to take a blogiday. If you’ve been reading my posts at all lately, you’ll know that WHERE SHE BELONGS, my 2007 Golden Heart finalist manuscript for Long Contemporary, is releasing December 16th from Five Star/Cengage.

Okay, December 16th isn’t really the release date, in that the book won’t be in libraries and stores ON December 16th. That’s actually the shipping date, when pre-orders from Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Canadian Amazon will likely go out, and when my publisher will mail my RITA copies. The RITA contest deadline has been moved up to December 30th, because January 1st falls on a weekend. So cross your fingers that my copies arrive in time! My publisher is working with me to get them out of the warehouse STAT on December 16th. It’ll be nail-biting time around here after Christmas, until I know the copies have been received at the RWA offices.

So, my “shipping date” is what I’m celebrating as my “release date.” And I have laser eye surgery scheduled for that date. Yes, I am finally getting my eyes lasered! I go in for my consultation tomorrow, and during the consult I’ll find out which surgery my eyes qualify for, PRK, which my son had last year and has a 4-7 day downtime. or SBK, a fancier version of LASIK which uses a laser to create the flap instead of a cut, and which has a downtime of 24-48 hours. It’s more expensive, but that downtime is super appealing.

When I booked the surgery, it had completely escaped my mind that December 16th is my book’s release date. So I won’t be able to promote my book ON the release date, but what can you do? I’ve decided the best way around this is to pre-schedule posts to appear on my blog (and therefore on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and my Amazon Author page) on December 16th and thereafter. The plan is to post scene snippets on the blog, you know, to entice folks to buy my book!

That’s the plan. We’ll see how the execution goes. Because I’ve been super busy helping to execute two other major life events that have sucked away all my writing time, and I must wrap them up before the surgery, plus get out my Christmas cards, etc (I skipped last year, so I really want to do this year).

And then there’s the shopping! I still have a lot to do.

How’s your December shaping up?

Giving the Cold Shoulder

The good news is I don’t have a frozen shoulder. My doctor admits I have a bit of a chilly one, though.

It’s been 7 weeks since I last went to see him about my rotator cuff injury. Since then, I’ve been attending weekly massage therapy sessions. A couple of weeks ago, we had a breakthrough—I can now sometimes, depending on the day, undo my bra behind my back! After months of slipping the straps off my shoulders, this was a real coup.

The bad news is that while I WILL recover, I’ve had this injury about a year now and then the super-duper injury that exacerbated the first injury, for about 4 months. So, I will recover, but the process is slllllllllllooooooooww. I’m to continue with my strengthening exercises and the massage therapy treatments, although my therapist has been given the green light to extend the treatments to ten days or two weeks between, depending how I do. If I don’t progress, it’s back to weekly treatments.

The fantastic news is that I don’t need an MRI or surgery. My rather excellent massage therapist’s hard work has helped my chilly shoulder from developing into a frozen one, for which I am thankful.

My personally set progress meter about being able to undo my bra behind my back has led me to discovering that not everyone can do this, whether they have an injured shoulder or not. My husband definitely can’t undo his bra behind his back. Well, he doesn’t wear a bra so that would partially explain it. Also, he used to have very flexible joints and could wrap his right arm around his head and touch his right ear:

Plus, he was heavy into sports. Maybe I asked him to wrap his arm around his head one too many times (I could NEVER do that), or maybe it was all the basketball and golf and skiiing and curling. Whatever, his range of motion is now more limited than mine, as far as the bra test goes. Which got me to wondering…do men lose the flexibility to undo their nonexistent bras behind their backs because if you don’t use it, you lose it? Any men out there reading this? Can you undo your imaginary bra behind your back? Can you zip up your imaginary dress zipper behind your back? Can you hook the little hook at the top of the zipper behind your neck? No? Well, welcome to womanhood. Or womanhood with sucky flexibility. I used to take those little things for granted. Now, my left arm mocks my right one. But I shall persevere. My goal is mutual arm mocking.

 

McBeagle Birthday

 

Two months old, December 2001.

Allie McBeagle is ten today. Unlike my previous pets, I have never forgotten her birthday because we brought her home from the kennel on December 18th and she was exactly two months old. Over the last year, she’s made a big deal about turning ten. She wants a “baby burger” and a kiddie cone from Dairy Queen. Here’s where I confess that she eats the kiddie cones once or twice a month. It’s not my fault. My husband started it. That dog can inhale a kiddie cone, cone and all, in 3 minutes. And that’s holding back.

So…the “baby burger.” I don’t know if such a thing exists. I’ll probably order a cheeseburger instead and let her have 1/4th of it. Bad, bad, bad. But the beagle made ten, and so she deserves it. Our last dog, an Alaskan Malamute that lived to 13.5, had pizza on his tenth birthday. We’re big on ten!

Allie between 4-6 months. All the black is gone from her ears and her face is entirely brown.

Allie’s goal is to live to 16. So that’s six years to go. The average lifespan of a beagle is apparently 12-16 years. She’s been running three times a week for the last two, so is in better shape at 10 than she was at 7. But that’s not the reason she wants to live to 16. No, you see, there’s competition. Every pet of ours since my dh and I got married has lived longer than the preceding pet. Slink, the first cat, lived to 6 (got run over). Kanik, the first dog, lived to the aforesaid 13.5. Seiki, the most evil Siamese cat that ever existed, who nearly died (the first time) when he was four, lived to 15.5 years. And now Allie wants to outlive Seiki. So I hear. I mean, it’s not like the dog talks to me. Well, she tries. But it’s not like I listen. Creativity does have its bounds.

"A Walk in the Park" at ten years minus 2 days old. She began turning white in the face when she was four, but lately there's a lot of white! Happy dog.

Do you celebrate animal birthday milestones, or do you think I’m soft in the head? Come on, admit it, if you were a dog, you’d want to live with me.

Bambi’s Mama Kicks Butt

In the several weeks since both my sons have left home, I’ve taken to running or long-walk-to-the-park-ing with Allie McBeagle in the mornings and a short trek around the block in the afternoons. Hey, she’s turning ten in a month. I can afford to slack off. Besides, Youngest Son trained her in the art of the “short walk” over the summer.

Last week, we (Allie and I) spied a doe and her fawn on the right side of the road, at the edge of an undeveloped lot. We were on the left side of the road. Allie was on her leash (busy car road), but because she’s nearly ten she doesn’t immediately alert (or care about doing so) to the deer like she did when she was little and she chased a deer in the neighboring orchard into the provincial park in the middle of winter and was thereafter lost for 6 hours until the orchard caretaker found her right where I screamed “Stay!” and brought her home.

Last week, she barely pricked her ears at the scent of the deer and fawn. As always, the sight left me in awe, and my natural inclination is to say, “Hi, guys” and even approach. But I’ve learned not to approach or even want to be around a doe when her fawn is around, or might be around, and you have a dog. So, I was in awe, but I was in a wee bit of terrified awe. I never ever thought I’d be afraid of Bambi’s mama. I thought deer were gentle creatures. But three or so weeks ago, My Liege and I were walking Allie in the huge provincial park near our house with a multitude of walking and biking trails…which the deer also love to traverse. We were doing the “short-short” walk (as opposed to the “long-short” walk), which took us off the main trail down to the road that overlooks a lake of many colors. There’s a portion of this highly used trail (by humans) that is very peaceful and ethereal. It’s hard to believe that in a few minutes you’ll come out to a view of road and/or the wide pedestrian pathway. During this walk, Allie was not on her leash. We always let her off-leash in the park and clip her back on if other dogs on leash approach or, heaven forbid, we see a bear (warnings of bear sightings are usually posted at the park’s entrance; no one’s ever posted a warning of a deer sighting—maybe they should). So, this walk she was off-leash. She was ahead of us and going up a little hill in the narrow path, when M.L. and I noticed, to the left of the path, a deer. Standing there looking very serene and peaceful.

“Well, hello,” I said (as is my way), and then, remembering the times Allie had tried to chase deer in her youth, I said to M.L., “Should we leash her?” I’m pretty sure he said yes. Because his next step was to go ahead and leash Allie while I stayed a few feet behind so as not to startle the doe. Because, you see, this doe had not taken kindly to our dog’s presence. Her nose was twitching and she pawed her front hooves (hoofs?) on the ground. It was clear she wanted to cross the path without any interference from us. And we were trying to be clear by standing absolutely still that we wanted her to. On the one hand, I wished I’d had a camera, because she would have made a beautiful shot. On the other hand, it was obvious there must be a fawn in the area, although we couldn’t see it. M.L. leashed the dog and kept her on a short leash, and the doe darted across the path and into the woods to our right…but didn’t take off completely. No, she started to stalk us. I’ve never experienced anything like this (my husband has been treed by a black bear and a moose, but normally wildlife loves me). We walked the path without looking straight on at the doe to our right. She continued following us, stamping her hooves and pawing the ground. At one point, I kid you not, I took the dog and M.L. picked up a large branch and shoved it at the doe to get her to stay off the path right behind us. Suddenly, my BFF’s stories about deers attacking humans in the communities around Victoria, B.C. weren’t so funny. Literally, I just LMAO’ed at the thought a couple of days previous. So the story goes, the deer are born on peoples’ property and so consider it their territory. Small dogs and cats are considered ON the deer’s property and can get in trouble/run down. Apparently, so can humans.

Our deer was most likely born in the provincial park. We never did see her fawn, but it’s safe to say the fawn was born in the park, too. Along with the bears and cougars and rattlesnakes we’d rather not encounter.

I’ll never again feel safe approaching a deer…unless my dog isn’t around. Then, okay, I’d give it a go. We often get them in our neighborhood, and we have “sit spots” in our huge back yard in winter. The deer sometimes leave “candy” (deer droppings that look like chocolate-covered raisins) our dog used to find irresistible. I know, disgusting, but there’s no accounting for a beagle’s taste. She also thinks four-week-dead fish smell amazing.

Have you ever had an encounter with a form of wildlife that surprised you? Last week, catching sight of the doe and fawn on the other side of the road, I just wanted to stand there and admire them. Instead, I kept my head down and a short leash on the beagle until we were safely out of sight. Because, believe me, that doe had her eyes trained on us every step of the way.

Summer Daze

After a July that was mostly, well, like March, summer has finally found its way to my neck of the woods. We can’t count on it hanging around for long, so I’m trying to make the best of it. Recently, I enjoyed two back-to-back long weekends, one with my dh at my parents’ lake house to celebrate our anniversary, and then last weekend we took the boys to Whistler (where the 2010 Winter Olympics were held). In between, I’ve been madly meeting deadlines for Penny.

The Whistler weekend was spur-of-the-moment, as Eldest Son is moving to the Middle East to teach school for a year. He’d just finished his summer job and Youngest Son had a few days off work, so we packed up and drove several hours to the mountain resort. I haven’t been to Whistler in over a decade, and we had a blast. Last time I visited, the group I was with went mountain-biking. This time, my family and I rode the Peak to Peak gondolas that travel between Whistler Mountain and Blackcomb Mountain, tried out ziplining for the first time, and E.S. went bungee jumping! My God, that kid is fearless.

I don’t have photos of the ziplining, but I did buy the bungee jumping CD. So here, in pictures, is a taste of my summer. How’s your summer going?

Out to dinner in Whistler, E.S. and Y.S. (left to right):

Whistler view from our hotel:

The husband et moi in the Whistler Mountain gondola:

At the Whistler summit (the chair lift ride from the gondola drop-off helped me kinda overcome my fear of heights…but not by much!)

View of Whistler as we’re descending in a Blackcomb chairlift after riding the Peak to Peak gondola:

Eldest Son bungee-jumping:

I asked what his thoughts were on the way down. He said, “Big river!”

Bungee-jumping is now on my Bucket List. I figure if I can zipline, I can bungee-jump. Except I need a couple more ziplining experiences to confirm it. And I don’t plan on repeating the experience any time soon! I was lucky I could manage a wave.

Three Funerals and A Wedding

Yes, I know, it’s supposed to be the other way around.

An inordinate number of elderly people are dying around me lately. If bad news comes in threes, let’s hope this is it. Because next week I’m going to my third funeral in as many weeks.

The first was the mother of a friend. She lived to 90, which is respectable, so that one I could rationalize. The second was my sister’s boyfriend’s mom. Actually, I didn’t physically attend that one, but I was with my sister in spirit. Then, earlier this week, I learned that my father’s older brother died in his sleep at 84. I don’t like it when people die in their 80s. I really don’t like it when they die in their 20s, but “she died at 90” works much better for me than “she died at 83.”

My grandfather (my uncle’s father) lived to 106, so 83 sounds “young” to me. Even my grandmother, despite having a stroke at 81, lived to one month shy of her 89th birthday. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around my uncle dying at a younger age than either of his parents.

Amid all this doom and gloom, my second niece on my dh’s side is having a wedding reception of sorts this weekend. She eloped a few months ago, in the States, but several Canadian members of the family couldn’t attend the first reception, so we’re doing it all over again. It’s a white-themed party. So everyone has to wear white.

Yeah, me and white. We’re great buddies. White and me will last about 20 seconds, until I eat something and likely drop it.

But I’ll take white over wearing black any day when it means celebrating the union of two young people.

Now, here’s a tip if you ever have to phone someone to tell them a family member has died: make double, triple, nay, quadruple sure that you HAVE THE RIGHT NAME. Of the person who died. Believe me, hearing the wrong name will give the recipients of the bad news unncessary conniptions. And hearing that you yourself have died can’t be enjoyable, either.

I’m not happy anyone died. And I’m well aware that mistakes can happen, so it’s not the fault of the person who did the calling. Next week, I’ll travel with my sisters, brother, and parents to pay my respects to my oldest uncle. I remember him painting art in his basement studio when we were kids. I remember the crazy purple lounge suits he and my father both received from their wives one Christmas. My uncle liked the suit, but my father was appalled. I think it was the only time he wore it. What can I say? He was a logger.

My uncle enjoyed gardening, boats when he was young, and his art. As the years passed and my cousins and brother and sisters grew, my uncle remarried and moved away. We didn’t see him often. But he was always pleasant to talk to, and I looked forward to seeing him every time.

Rest in Peace, William Richard Procter.