Category: This & That

You Know You’re Getting Old When…

…you order an ice cream cake from the Dairy Queen, you specifically said “Cindy” would be picking it up, and when you get there, “Sydney” is scrawled in black felt pen on the plastic cover (and a smiling teenager is passing you the cake). (She’s never heard the name Cindy).

…you take in your watch to have the battery replaced, say “Cindy” will return in ten minutes, and the twenty-something clerk frowns at you and asks, “Sydney?”

…you check in on American politics and realize John McCain’s wife is named Cindy, and you’re pretty sure she’s over forty, too.

…you realize Richard Gere and Kevin Costner both divorced their Cindys years and years and a light age ago…and you remember that you liked them because they married Cindys (smart men). (at the time).

…”Sydney” to you is the name of a 60-year-old skinny balding guy with red hair and glasses, who looks an awful lot like Woody Allen or that guy who got ate by one of the dinosaurs in the original Jurassic Park movie (I think while he was going to the can?), whereas “Sydney” to your sons is a hot chick in a short skirt.

…when you sign your emails, half the time you type “Cidny” and have to backspace and correct yourself.

…you’re considering taking Sydney as a pen name if you ever write YA, so you can be cool, too.

…you decide Sidney Crosby has a girly name.

National Sex Day?

Only in Canada, eh?

And I quote:

Jonathan Yaniv, a computer science student at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in Surrey, B.C., wants to make Aug. 21 a day devoted to the art of love.

The 21-year-old is trying to get at least one million Canadians to join the Facebook event “National Sex Day 2008.” If he’s successful, it will likely be the biggest organized sex event ever.

 The Facebook group already has over 130,000 people getting ready to unzip and unwind.

Trust that Facebook. (I’m kidding. I don’t belong to Facebook, and I’ve never explored the same—before anyone goes bananas on me).

Brittany, a 19-year-old student in St. Catharines, Ont. – who requested her last name not be used – said she can’t wait to “make the best” of the informal holiday. But she added that participants should be careful.

“If you’re silly enough to find a partner just for the day, don’t be upset when you get a sexually transmitted disease,” she said.

Yes, we Canadians are socially responsible and horny.

What do you think? Should we take National Sex Day to Parliament Hill? (That’s like taking it to Congress—I think—if you’re American. Taking it somewhere in D.C., at any rate). (I knew I should have paid more attention when I was there).

Evil Entity Update

Some of you will remember my struggle with the Evil Entity using my kitchen-door garden for her catbox. I am happy to report that after several weeks of experimentation, she is no longer going in the garden! How did I accomplish this monumental feat? Well, first I tried putting black pepper in the garden. She dug it up. Then I followed a friend’s advice and covered the soil areas with cut-up rose thorns. She booted them out. FINALLY, after planting marigolds and lobelia, I covered every square inch of soil I could find with bits of bark and sticks and a sprinkler and a digging implement and two old peony cages:

No more cat crap!

Success! Granted, I also had to resort to putting a litter box in the carport. Last week, fairly confident that I had her carport-litter-box-trained, I removed the rigamarole from the garden. Whereupon she began using it as a litter box again! Argh. Is my garden destined to look so, um, cluttered for the rest of the summer?

I am sad to report that my marigolds either hate the Evil Entity’s “leftovers” or the record-breaking temperatures from the end of June fried them, because, as of this past weekend, ONLY ONE BLOOM REMAINED from six or seven plants. Sob. So I pulled them out and planted geraniums and some other little pink flower whose name I can’t recall at the moment. The lobelia, however, are going strong (everything is in the baby stage in the pic above, so you can’t really see the lobelia blooming—just take my word for it, because My Liege is out of town and he took the camera).

What does the Evil Entity think of all of this?

“Kiss My Paw, Submissive Human.”

Allie McBeagle’s reaction:

Pure exhaustion!

Did anyone else lose flowers to scorching temperatures this summer? Or must I admit that I have a brown thumb?

By the way, see that maple in the background of the picture of the Evil Entity? It’s now minus two massive branches, courtesy of a recent freak windstorm that also took out three fence boards and smashed the lantern at the end of the driveway.

Egad. Nostradamus said I’d have days like this…

Just Beachy

My Liege and I were determined to spend July 4th on the lake, come rain or shine. Luckily, it didn’t rain, although at first we thought it might. Clouds hovered until the afternoon, when the sun finally broke free.

I was forced to take a self-portrait…

Because My Liege was reading… (There he is, at the very end of the left dock).

Who am I to interrupt such a worthy endeavor?

Note to Self: When holding camera so close to own face, nose looks enormous…

Behold, my photography skills:

“Choppy Waters, with Feet”

How did you spend your July 4th weekend?

For Those Who Thought…

I couldn’t go a (week)day without posting to my blog, I just did! (Um, sort of). (I just had to brag).

Piccies tomorrow!!

Happy Independence Day

To all my American cousins!

Yes, fellow bloggers, I have American cousins. Some were born in Canada then migrated to the U.S. so they could live close to Disneyland. That’s not the official story, but I know the truth. Others (in the same family) were born in the States. Now they are spread far and wide across the great U.S., like all of my American writer friends.

Enjoy your Independence Day. I’ve decided to celebrate with you. My Liege took the day off, and if it looks like most of the day will be sunny, you’ll find us floating on a monster-sized lake with a lake monster in it, which is an adventure in survival you don’t want to miss, let me tell you. If it starts to rain, I’ll be at home doing something far less relaxing, although I haven’t decided what yet. I’m crossing my fingers for the sun.