Category: This & That

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Except it’s March 1st.

Leap Day decided to take advantage and literally tack a day onto February. You know what, though? We’ve had a fairly snow-less winter, so I don’t mind. It’s been cold and very dry at times, but the majority of the snow hit us post-December. Now, if it’s still like this in two weeks, I’ll be whining:

Someone's dog is getting walked today at 7 a.m., but it isn't mine.
Don't get me wrong. All I have to do is utter, "walk," and she'd jump up. But first, a tall mug of steaming tea...(for me). Ahhh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do I know how to start a day or what?

 

Halloween Costumes People Other Than Me Have Been

It’s been a couple of years since I posted about Halloween Costumes I Have Been. So I thought I’d do it again. Except this time it’s Halloween Costumes People Other Than Me Have Been. I won’t reveal who the someones are, except to say they are related to me. I also won’t reveal the decade, because then I might be killed. I will reveal that the person standing beside the Caveman is Aphrodite. In the flesh. Just in case you didn’t believe she really existed.

If you’d like instructions for Halloween costumes for Pond Scum, the Chewing Gum Family, Robot Boy, or The Three Witches of Macbeth, check here and here. And don’t give me any grief about the Pond Scum costume. It made sense at the time!

Here we go…

Caveman!

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Marry Aphrodite.
  2. Go hunting. Don’t give me any grief about the hunting! It wasn’t me who did the hunting, and the hunter had hunted all his life, beginning with hunting deer for food as a 13-year-old in the decade following the Great Depression. People lived on farms and hunted for food and then later hunted for sport. And then realized maybe they should stop hunting for sport. And so they did.
  3. While hunting for another animal entirely, get stalked by a wolverine (this is tricky, but I assure you it can be done.)
  4. Shoot the wolverine before it pounces on you.
  5. Have your brother-in-law by marriage, who happens to be a taxidermist, create a wolverine skin.
  6. Have this same brother-in-law give you a beaver pelt, because what home is complete without one?
  7. Wait a few years.
  8. Get invited to a Halloween party. Decide to be a caveman.
  9. Strap beaver pelt to your chest and secure with a wide leather belt at the waist.
  10. Take no notice that the beaver pelt is no longer than a mini-skirt. Trust that your friends expect this sort of behavior from you and will accept you, with or without mocking.
  11. Hang wolverine skin down your back so that the head hangs over your butt. Prepare to stand around all night so you don’t sit on the wolverine’s head. Or, prepare to lift the wolverine’s head to sit, revealing what you may or may not be wearing beneath the pelt.
  12. Considering the length of the beaver pelt, you’d better be wearing something beneath it!
  13. Coax Aphrodite into stitching the wolverine paws over your shoulders and onto the beaver pelt. Because it looks super cool.
  14. Strap a diving knife onto your belt…because it makes total sense that a caveman would go diving. In case he encounters a shark, he needs a knife. And he can pretend the knife is really a hunting knife. Because it’s a knife. Who will argue with him?
  15. Wear a fancy watch to detract from the length of the beaver pelt.
  16. Clasp on ONE earring. Make sure to choose the correct ear. Choosing the wrong ear might lead people to think you’re really Hagar the Horrible.
  17. Hey, maybe you ARE Hagar the Horrible. This is an adaptable costume!
  18. Ask a teenage person who lives in your house to take a photograph to commemorate the costume for all time.
  19. Thirty years later, consider choking the teenager.
  20. But, for now, hie thee to thy Halloween party and have a blast!

APHRODITE INSTRUCTIONS:

  1.  Wrap sheet or other cloth around body toga-style.
  2. Secure with Grecian rope at your waist and a broach on your shoulder.
  3. Spray paint leafy crown thing with gold leaf.
  4. Look amazingly hot.
  5. Remember how much you love the teenager who took this picture.

Have you designed any creative Halloween costumes for this year? Too many people buy store bought costumes these days. Why, when it’s so easy to make your own?

Weekend: Accomplished

I know it’s a holiday in the States, but up here in Canada it’s just another work week. We’re so deprived! Except, wait, we had our long weekend last weekend.

My weekend was very busy. But we got a ton accomplished.

  1. Finally, I gave My Liege approval to chop down Cedric, a 30-something-year-old cedar hedgie guy. As in there was just one of him. He was stealing all the nutrients from a garden I created, oh, 10 years ago. And he was hogging all the sun. The other plants couldn’t grow. So down he came.
  2. Millions of bedding plants planted! I know I sound excited, but, believe me, it’s an act. Now comes the task of watering them. I love planting bedding plants. And I love taking pictures of them as they grow. It’s the care and feeding of that I ain’t so hot on.
  3. Finished reading WILD RIDE by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer. Didn’t love it as much as AGNES AND THE HIT MAN, which was a 5 for me on a scale of 1-5. But liked it a lot better than their first collaboration, which was about a 3 for me. WILD RIDE was a 4.5. I don’t usually read paranormal romances, and I didn’t realize WILD RIDE was a paranormal because she’s one of my auto-buys. Once I realized it was a paranormal and it wasn’t really a romance (hope that’s not a spoiler–it has love stories in it, but it’s not a traditional romance), I just got into the fun of it. Yes, sometimes a few scenes reminded me a bit too much of those cutesy Gremlins, but overall I really enjoyed it and am looking forward to picking up her next solo effort.
  4. We finally put down the new carpet runner in our hardwood hallway that leads to the sundeck (that leads to the hot tub–thus the need for the carpet runner). I’ve had the carpet runner rolled up in my office for, oh, nine months. Yes, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that home upkeep is not high on my list of priorities. But I did have a good reason for buying the runner and then procrastinating installing it: The Evil Entity. A.K.A. our cat, Keisha. She’d gotten in the habit of using the previous carpet runner as a scratching post, and no matter how many REAL scratching posts we bought her, she would not give up the carpet runner. So I finally ripped it out and bought her a super-duper scratching post that leads to a window perch. She was ticked, but eventually learned to use her scratching post. Then I realized that if we installed the new carpet runner too quickly, she’d return to her evil ways. The new runner has been installed for two days, and so far, so good.
  5. I worked more on Penny’s Cover Art and Cover Copy forms for her recent sale to Samhain. The Cover Art form is essentially finished, but needs information I’m currently writing for the Cover Copy form. Yes, folks, I’m in Writing Book Blurb Mode. The Samhain form is a bit more complicated than other publisher forms I’ve filled out. Some parts of it are really making me think. I should have this off to my editor in a day or so.

This week is gearing up to be another busy one. I’ll be participating in the ChickLit mentoring program, finishing up the Samhain form, and preparing for yet another family birthday, another college graduation, and…something else.

Next week, if I have time, I’ll fill you in on the something else.

What are you up to this week? Last week? Next? (And don’t talk to me about getting ready for RWA National. I can’t even think about the conference until mid-June).

Wednesday Wound Up

Er, make that “round up.”

In the I Can’t Find Enough Hours In The Day department, otherwise known as What Have I Been Up To?, I thought I’d pop in with the following:

Paint colors aren’t nearly as exciting as recent TV advertising would have one believe. At least, if you’re painting the interior of a mud room closet white, they aren’t. White is white, and such a delight. But, in the end, it’s just white.

I’ve decided it’s The Summer of White. I hereby pledge to paint every white room and piece of white wainscoting and white trim in the shared areas of the house (ie. the mud room and one hall, plus the kitchen wainscoting and trim. Okay, and some outside of doors. The parts that face into the hall). It’s way overude. I mean overdue. (Overude sounds over-rude). I figure if I only paint something white every couple of weeks, I won’t aggravate the bicep injury I created in the fall doing too much outdoor painting.

Nearly ALL the white sundeck trim I painted last summer has peeled off! White is a complete PITA sometimes! Or maybe it’s the rain/roast days of summer we “enjoy” that’s the PITA.

Come to think of it, where’s the summer? Okay, summer technically doesn’t start until June 21st, but this is ridiculous. One day it’s hot enough for air conditioning, the next I want My Liege to light a fire.

And none of this has anything to do with writing.

So, in the Writing Department, Penny has received a tentative release date for her erotic romance single title (sometime in the fall. I actually have a more precise idea of when in the fall, but I’m  not ready to announce it yet. Things are “in the works,” as they say). Because Penny loves to sit around on her lazy duff all day, this means I have to fill out her Cover Art Information Forms and write her cover blurb. I’m doing that this week.

As for Cindy, I’ve been working on my romantic comedy short story series and doing a lot of E.S. Just Moved Out post-cleaning.

I overindulged in peanut butter cups while awaiting the Rapture.

And I’ve been serving as a mentor for the ChickLit RWA on-line chapter. Me! A mentor. Imagine that.

I’m working with a writer on the other side of the pond. So far it’s been a pretty cool experience. I just hope I’m not piling too much “help” on her. I just figure, we only have two months to do this (May and June), and I’ll be out of town twice in June (I employ big, burly housesitters), so we don’t have as much time to work together as we should. So I’m giving it. And hopefully it’s helping her.

I would have loved a mentorship program like this when I was first starting out (I wonder if there’s such a thing as “when I was lastly starting out”?). But that was in pre-Internet days. I remember joining the RWA Outreach Chapter, which conducted all its business through the mail. That’s how I connected with my first critique partners. I still critique with one of them from time to time. My critique partners were my “mentors,” and I acted in the same capacity for them. I guess we were peer mentoring, because none of us were published at the time.

I’ve hooked up with other critique partners over the years. A couple of CP’ships lasted several years and were profitable for both sides. I still consider some of these writers very good friends. But sometimes “Real Life” interferes, family needs change, careers take off, and one or both partners needs to take a step back. Deadline Pressure is a real killer.

What else?

I haven’t had time to blog-hop the way I used to. It’s far easier to keep up with people on Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, I’m thinking of canceling my MySpace account. I never go over there anymore, so why bother? Penny is thinking of having me cancel her account as well.

Eldest Son is now fully moved out but Youngest Son’s summer job doesn’t start until June. So May continues to be an “in flux” month, much as April was. So, lest any of you think the reason I haven’t been blogging is because I went back to South America, no such luck, I’m here. Just wound up from trying to find time to wind down.

All aboard the Get ‘Er Done! train. Leaving the station… Now!

Spam Comment of the Week

I cannot see how people can read this and not think “genius alert”.

Doesn’t that just say it all?

Happy Victoria Day Weekend, fellow Canadians!

Happy next-weekend Memorial Day (I think) Weekend, American friends!

Happy Fill-in-the-Blank Weekend, International Readers!

I cannot see how people can read this and not think “genius alert”.

It’s just perfection.